A shift has happened.
Something inside of me has changed.
As of lately, I've
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about it but I think I took away the weight-loss focus because I haven't lost weight... not because I don't want to lose any more. Make any sense?
Basically, I'm afraid to fail at losing weight. I already gained back some of the weight once, and now that my initial goal-weight is thisclose, I'm FREAKING OUT!!!
Right now, "weight loss" is still a work in progress so in my mind, when I tell people I'm trying to drop pounds, it gives me permission to mess up (right, right?).
Accidentally overeat three days in a row?
No big deal, I'm still learning on this journey.
Skipped exercise all week long?
Everybody on this "weight loss journey" does it, so it's okay.
Focusing on building muscle, on the other hand, lets me think it's okay to overeat because you need extra calories to build muscle. True. It also lets me think having no loss or a gain over several weeks is okay because you're supposed to gain weight when you build muscle. True, again.
But I've been lying to myself... the scale hasn't been moving which is why I switched my goal... not the other way around.
I was kidding myself about not focusing on weight-loss because even though I'm 10 lbs. away from my original goal weight, I'm still about 15 - 20 lbs overweight for my height. And even with some muscle gain, I should still be seeing a loss on the scale. Tomorrow I have my measurements taken with Trainer L so I'll know for sure if I'm still moving in the right direction... even if the scale isn't.
Since it's now been said, I'm bringing back the focus on losing "the last 10 lbs.".